Musing

  Not always do you find yourself in a state of questioning the meaning of everything around you. But there you are, every once in a while, finding yourself walking in a tight space between the edges of a double-edged sword, searching for answers that the world deems philosophical. In this dire state, you know that turning either way will be unpleasant. You know well that probing deeper into these questions will intensify the severity of the existential crisis looming around you, but now that these questions have crossed your mind, you cannot ignore them and go back to your life as before, under the pretense of everything making sense. You always knew that things keep changing and impermanence was a theory, whose every word you thought you knew by heart. And yet you stand in amazement, observing the disquiet surrounding the world and the entropy perched within. Your heart aches when you ponder over the ephemeral nature of human interactions, to think that you meet so many people an...

If I die today, and you never get to see me again, don't think that it was unfortunate for me to die so quick. Instead, think about what a blessing it was that I got to live all the years I lived. If you don't find me when I am struggling for my final breath, know that it wasn't hard for me knowing that I am dying. So don't make it hard for yourself to accept the fact that I died. Know that I didn't think of all the miseries life dragged me into, but of sunsets, sky, birds, trees and people, and how they made my heart leap up to be thankful that I got to experience them even in an infinitesimal possibility. If I am no more there tomorrow, keep me safe in a corner of your memories, and cherish me alive at least in you, think of me when you watch the sun go down the horizon, or when stars show periodicity in their patterns. And when you behold the autumn sky in the night, know that this very state of sky once gave me the feeling of being insignificant and yet special,...

I have always loved the sunset. Not that watching the sun rise above the horizon makes my heart grow fonder any less, but still, sunrise- even with full of promise, even with all its dopamine surged freshness could never match the solace I found in watching the sun go down the horizon. What is it with sunset that even with fatigue of the entire day etched in every square inch of the body, even without the assurance of light radiating from the orange ball of fire that fuels up the entire life of this pale blue dot, even without knowing whether I will live long enough to see it rise above the horizon the next day, this heart craves to experience more and more sunsets?  I wonder this- about my love for sunset-sitting in the balcony with a cup of freshly brewed coffee in my hand, gazing at the orange ball getting more and more red, getting nearer and nearer to the horizon, losing its bottom part- becoming a semicircle and then a quarter and just like that gradually melting into the hor...

Cherished hopes and dreams,  when turn into ruins,  when times become too hard to endure,  you dread that you may never cure,  that's when your thoughts seem to spin-  a whirlpool,  in the mid of an ocean!  Oh dear!  How do you escape the predicament ?  Where do you even go?  Home?  Why home?  Why not anywhere?  They say people leave  when everything falls apart.  Home won't.  When trust seems to ooze out  from the cracks of betrayals,  how you long for safety!  When, on falling into an abyss,  how you wish to be caught  right in between  by a pair of hands.  How you long for home  when you accidentally head  into a journey  that seems to never end.  Is home worth it?  It is. It always was.  Even when neglected,  it always stood beside you  just to make it clear that  in case you wander,  you'd always have it, that it'd find...

What fraction of time does it require for once-a-stranger person to be a daily fixture in your life?  You are doing fine with your life and feel all happy on yourself until some people strike your life without announcement. After their arrival, you strangely share the courtesy of your happiness with them- sometimes, the half and at times, hand them more. You are bearing a great deal of tragedy with yourself as relying on other people for your happiness and giving them the authority to bring about whirl in your emotions is no insurance to you. Because, these 'significant others' that you have given the power to, often take you for granted. And oh dear, the rest, we've all experienced, haven't we?  Well, that's the thing about people. Just like the unannounced entrances, the exit is no different. Their unexpected goodbyes, and sometimes, the goodbyes untold yet giving the aura of unwillingness to stay and not even finding it necessary to try and clear the things out h...

I was in the mid of reading Thirteen Reasons Why , whose story revolves around a seventeen-year-old girl named Hannah Baker, who commits suicide because of betrayal and bullies when coincidentally, a news link popped up on my mobile screen claiming the death of a known actor whom I personally adored: Sushant Singh Rajput. I was shocked initially but thought a moment later that this could be a false news as the media was getting a bit 'infodemic' lately and in the past, there had been alleged death rumors of various renowned figures which eventually came out to be untrue. I so very wished the news link to be a clickbait and nervously opened the link, only to discover that the actor had indeed committed a suicide. I had known Sushant as an actor since my early age, from the time when he used to play as Manav Deshmukh alongside Ankita Lokhande who carried out the role of Archana on a popular TV serial Pavitra Rishta that used to stream on Zee TV. After spending a considerable tim...